The Blues are on top (for now)

August 31, 2009 at 10:55 am (Chelsea) (, , , )

He he..2 matches have taken place since my last post..

Anyway, Chelsea beat both Fulham and Burnley comfortably and with the campaign’s firts clean sheets. Here is the match in pics…

LOL at Drogba! πŸ˜€

Now to SB for Cfc vs. Burnley

(that’s Ballack at the bottom right corner πŸ˜› )

(that’s Cole at the bottom left corner πŸ˜€ )

So in all, we done well so far and are on top of the league table on goal difference above the Spuds.

Next week in an international break..so no league action for another 2 weeks. 😐

[images courtesy chelseafc.com]

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Chelsea match today….and more!

August 23, 2009 at 7:57 pm (Chelsea, Metal) (, , , )

A post after a long time…lol πŸ˜€



Anyway, today, Chelsea play Fulham at Craven Cottage. Not much of a derby (a local derby it’s been called) but Ancelotti’s got his first semi-major fixture. Hope he doesn’t disappoint πŸ˜€


He has finally realised that Lampard plays best in centre midfield, so I think the one change we’ll see in the line up is Lampard taking Essien’s place and Deco playing behind the 2 strikers, a position he originally played in at Porto (and is very well known for). We wont be able to see Belletti or Zhirkhov anytime soon, while Joe Cole and Ferrera will again sit out.

The defence is finding it hard to get used to the narrow diamond formation, thus remaining asleep for most of the first half in the matches so far. We’ve conceded twice already, though we came back from behind to win. Something I’ve seen during Mourinho’s days and in Guus’s stint is that never-say-die spirit, something which was totally lost during Scholari’s management and seems to have been reborn in Ancelotti’s first matches. So hope today’s match will be a cracker πŸ˜€

Meanwhile at Fulham, we might see our old winger Damien Duff find a place in the starting line-up. Last I heard, Davies and Andrew Johnson may not feature in the line up.

In other news, I’ve been twittering a lot lately, thus finding out about Megadeth’s new album (which will release in about a month) and that most on twitter are stupid spam bots. 😐

Nice artwork, though I lost it at the monks 😐

So, see you after the game, and follow me! πŸ˜‰

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What's been happening lately?

August 18, 2009 at 9:55 pm (Random) (, , , )

Well, to begin with, I’m thinking of changing the way I post, not just pages and pages of text, a bit more colourful, a bit more jazz.

Yeah, I know this is totally different from my “Eh What’s this?” column, but hey, who am I to judge a bunch of strangers who judge me based on my content?

Also, I’m on twitter πŸ™‚ [for now]
Find/follow me at twitter.com/thewisecrab

I might pull the plug on it, if I’m not comfortable, but for now, follow me you twits πŸ˜›

C’ya before the next Chelsea match πŸ˜‰

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OMG!! Run for your life??!?!

August 12, 2009 at 2:03 pm (Views) (, , , )

[dramatic text]
Ahhhhhh…Swine Flu..it’s gonna kill us……….help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!………shut down everything…..save your porn and women…..wear overpriced goofy masks…….run……we are all gonna die!!!!!!!!
[/dramatic text]

OK, that was just a highly exaggerated yet actual reaction for most to swine flu. As I’ve noticed, we weren’t fazed during the great Influenza outbreak a few decades back, during the Anthrax outbreak in US/UK or even bird flu (I bet chickens will be waiting to poop on us when we meet them in heaven after what we did to them). Wonder what could a pig do to cause all this mayhem.

Swine Flu is like an other Influenza, it’s a virus that can mutate into different forms and mainly affects those who are already very susceptible to any disease. 9/10 times the patient will recover, the one odd case of death (which is frightening, though not something to get all paranoid about) is amongst those who were already ill before contracting the disease. So, if you are fit and fine, I doubt whether you have anything to worry about (this is my opinion, DONT take it as advice)

Yet, I’m seeing kids wearing surgical masks while playing pakda-pakdi and fully grown adults trying to cover their face with anything they can find, be it a sweat stained kerchief, a mud-soiled dupatta or even (I’m not exaggerating) their own hands which had just been subjected to the oil of a roadside vada pav. (all this happened at the bus depot, in the line I was queuing at waiting for the bus), as if swine flu is actually in the air.

All you have to do is get the basics right.

Just as even in the internet, if you go looking for trouble, you are definitely digging your own grave, the same goes for this. Maintain good hygiene, get yourself checked by a GP if you are sick, dont eat outside food for a while and dont visit anybody who is sick.

You do this an I’m sure you’ll be fine. Dont go around saying that doomsday is upon us/we are going to die/crap like some of my friends did (who were the inspiration behind the first paragraph of this post) or wear an overpriced goofy mask.

Face it, if feel you are susceptible to swine flu, get yourself checked by a doctor instead of showing your insecurity by wearing a mask and further spreading the mayhem.

On a lighter note, I read on TOI a few weeks back an funny quote on swine flu:

It was once said that if a black would become president of USA, then pigs could fly. Now, Barack Obama is president and we have swine flu.

Here is another example of what over-twittering on swine flu can do (click on the image to view it):

Swine Flu Humour

Swine Flu Humour

Disclaimer: This post is just an opinion of the author concerned. NOT to be taken as any form of advice. Author shall not be held liable if reader follows it to the letter and begins to feel like a flying pig. πŸ˜›

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Of Reality Shows…..

August 9, 2009 at 10:23 am (Views)

“Reality Shows” are a sham. A sham I say.Β  A lot of hooblah and opinions have been raised about it, and I’m thinking of voicing mine now.

It’s a shame to what lows can a TV network sink to just to get lazy ass nuts to watch the idiot box all day, and that’s a nice way of putting it. From the reign of KBC and “Kyunki Chaas bhi Kabhi Dahi Thi”, to just hour after hour after hour of jewellery /makeup/saree/scantily clad soaps that even defy a sane human being’s logic, let alone those who watch such shows, reality TV came as a welcome change. (phew?)

The problem with the those who run these networks is that if they find even one small glimpse of improvement in TRP due to a show, they bombard you with many such shows in a small time frame. Take the year 2000. It was the intro of serialz andz KBCz. On becoming a hit, all other networks try to mimic ze original, leaving us in a state of utter confusion. They flopped (why wasn’t I surprised?) and had to be shelved, one by one, though many serialz stillz remainz to this day. The same goes for reality showz.

Most reality shows are local remakes of big labels, quite successful abroad (keyword here is abroad).

Rakhi Ka Swayamwar reminded me of a 2-3 year old show called “Who want’s to marry a Millionaire” or something like that, where a groom had to select prospective brides. Here it was vice-versa (or was it?)

Sensing opportunity, Star Plus remade “The Moment Of Truth to Sach Ka Saamna. This, was not even close to the American label, where there was absolutely no line that wasn’t crossed. That was entertaining. This, was tweaked to a great extent to suit the “social needs” of the Indian audience. Even so, that doesn’t distinguish the fact that even in India, people would do anything for money. And I thought only the Japanese would do crazy things to come on TV.

India’s Got Talent is a remake of a very popular international label. To be honest, it’s the only one that (for now) is better than most it’s just the same as other “Talent” shows. It really doesn’t matter whose got talent. Heck even playing 2 chords on the keyboard/guitar is talent these days (those who used to watch the show will know to whom am I referring too). All you need is contacts OR a photogenic face. If you’ve got any of the two, consider yourself the winner of <insert any shit in the name of talent> show.
I dont have any incentive to vote for the person performing, other than losing 3-7 rupees of my prepaid talktime. So unless I know the person really well, or if the person is relatively photogenic, it just might be worth the 3-7 bucks. But in most cases no case has my mind swung to pick up the phone and lose my 3-7 bucks of precious talktime. So, you can whine all you want about “that” guy who had “this” talent deserved to win (heck even I did) but it’s not going to change the fact that only the prick with the most contacts will win. Period.

There is absolutely no comparison between Fear Factor and Khatron ke Khiladi. The former would send a chill down your spine with a dash of suspense, while the latter, I dont need to elaborate. (and the so called “babes” are in no comparison to any Indian/international actresses/models)

Dont even get me started on those lame shows hosted by kids and jobless “original” composers. I rather watch myself suck at CounterStrike(yeah I do)Β  than put up with those freakshows.

In conclusion, reality TV is highly over-rated. And I thank my stars that the new football season is about to kick off.

PS. This is my first post without smileys, AND I haven’t watched more than 10 minutes of any of the above shows at any time altogether.

Also, do let me know what you’ll think about the new lite theme I’ve applied.

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Social networking is a paradox

July 28, 2009 at 11:09 pm (Views)

This is what happened with me just a few days back:

Random Friend: Are you on Orkut/Facebook/hi5/<insert any god forsaken site here>?

Me: No.

RF:WTF? Kaunse Zamaane mein hai tu?

Me. Why? Why are you bothered?

RF: Dude, everybody’s there.

Me: Everybody are also in class\tuition\mall everyday. I can actually talk to them instead of scrapping them 24/7.

RF: ParΒ  tu kyaa nahi kar saktaa hai yaar Orkut/Facebook pe.

Me: Getting obscene profiles in your name, finding out that the bully/nut of so-and-so year now knows what your are up to and the people whom you were trying to avoid all your life can access your photo albums is not MY idea of fun. Thank you very much.

RF: How will you stay in touch with us?

Me: Uh…Email? Chat? Blog? or must I also remind you that I have a f**king mobile phone too? And why should I even think of keeping “in touch” with those whom I meet practically everyday?

RF: You are wierd.

Me: Yeah. I am. And I’m hearing this from a guy who…. (classified info now spoken)

RF: WtF??!?! Who told you th…I mean…How did you know?

Me: You dont need to be on Orkut for everything, you know.

RF: Geez…you think you could trust a…

Me:
Not to mention any n00b on the net can read your scraps on Orkut/status and friends on Facebook. Your private life is now public too.

RF:
$h!t 😐

Me: What were you saying about Orkut again? πŸ˜€

RF: /runs away

I rest my case πŸ˜‰

I admit, social networking is good, but well, I just pointed out what can happen too.

PS: All resemblence in this post to any n00b you know is purely coincidental πŸ˜›

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Pardon My Intolerance….

July 7, 2009 at 8:07 pm (Personal) (, )

For all you regular visitors, you’ll might have noticed that this is my first post in a few weeks. I always thought that I could churn out articles every week.

However this time, with my classes and exams all whipping my ass with every passing day, I had to reflect back and prioritize my day-to-day timetable, and sadly, this blog lost out on most of the time it gets due to that.

The blog will continue, I will post more articles in the near future, more satire awaits you (thats for sure πŸ˜‰ ) . But hey, I had to be practical too, right?

Rest assured, this blog will continue to grow, but maybe not in the same flavour it used too at least for a couple of months. (like I’ve written 1000s of articles till now πŸ˜› , but even so)

Hope you’ll will pardon my intolerance 😐

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The irony of life…

June 17, 2009 at 11:38 pm (Personal, Views) (, , , )

/rant

Life’s not fair. Face it. No matter what you try, it never ends up unfair in your favour. Unless you are one of those lucky ones, whom I’d like to thrash today. (this blogger lets out an evil grin πŸ˜€ )

Not everybody are lucky, be it the middle class, the general category, the “I’m begging for attention since I’m not cricket” teams in India, I could go on. Yet it still bugs me to see that the lucky ones do get away with it. Let me point out a very basic example.

I’m a metalhead. I’m an aspiring metalhead. Iron Maiden, Lamb Of God, Metallica, Megadeth, CoB are always on my playlist. Not to say that I dont listen to other genres too (Yanni is my favourite semi-classical composer ever) but thats a separate issue. Coming back to the point. I always dream of having a device that can satisfy my every whim. To be able to play Are You Dead Yet? in high volume and yet not creating a riot among neighbours has been difficult, if not impossible.

Yet, in front of me sit’s a guy (with a very popular touch screen device) showing it off as he listens to Genda Phool in full volume. 😐

This guy has never heard of metal (he found Nothing Else Matters to be metal for crying out loud πŸ˜€ ), has the audacity to call it lameΒ  (I pity him) and yet be smirked up about it. Why? Well you’ve guessed it right. He’s got the <very popular touch screen device>, I dont. Some might call me stupid to raise an issue out of this.

But hey, I didnt know whether to laugh at his “cool” antics or actually sit and think about it. So, I did both.

This is just an example to show how the lucky ones have it all, while the ones that either truly want or deserve <very popular touch screen device>, end up in a cold place.

This not only applies here but to life in general (or atleast I would think in India). The lucky ones can buy themselves a seat in a prestigeous college. The lucky ones end up with “smanshy pants” goodies. The lucky ones study abroad (hmm, I dont think that went well down under 😐 ). The lucky ones monopolize the market, and in the end, the lucky ones inherit riches.

Meanwhile us GC guys are left working our asses of to get “that” free seat in “that” govt. college to get “that” degree after 4 years of hard work. Something which the lucky ones can get in the snap of their fingers.

Maybe that’s why GC guys work so hard, maybe to look at the lucky ones in the eye and say “I did it for free-ee “. πŸ˜€

Some guys I pointed out from the group are really sincere and dedicated (in fact I know some who are lucky yet extremely down to earth and hard-working). Yet, a majority of them are not so.

That’s the irony of life, that we all are not born to be “The Lucky Ones”. 😐

/end of rant
PS All references made to any individual/group are purely coincedental πŸ˜›

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Of money, goals and double standards….

June 16, 2009 at 6:07 pm (Chelsea) (, , , , )

I had written earlier about the transfer window being driven by those with the fat wallets. Fiorentino Perez, after being re-elected as Real Madrid President, spent over Β£150 Million in just 10 days, first bagging Kaka from AC Milan, and now Christiano Ronoldo (Oh joy!) from ManU. It’s funny about the double standards that people talk about, which is raised in every transfer window.

After Chelsea was taken over by Russian billionaire Roman Abromovich, it gave the club the previously unlikely opportunity to buy some big players. Michael Ballack, Didier Drogba, Essien (who was not much of a star when he was bought) Shevchenko (who is still a very talented player, mind you), Malouda were just some of the names the sudden cash infusion allowed the Blues to introduce to the Premier League. It brought (surprisingly) immediate result, with the Blues winning the Premeir League back-to-back. At this juncture, many pundits began claiming that “Money bought success” and “Chelsea have now blatantly inflated and spoilt the transfer matket”. πŸ˜•
Now, however, as Real Madrid are looking to do the same thing they did in 2002 (where the hell do they get this money?) by buying star players, I haven’t seen many raise this statement. I dont know why.

It’s funny since Real Madrid are (in reality) looking to buy talent they really can do without, considering that it’s their defence that’s been a let down, not the goals.

Anyway, coming back to money,clubs and players. ManU and AC Milan have the oppurtunity to make a huge mark on the window, as they have lots of “cold-hard-cash” given by Real Madrid to “buy” potential replacements. Again, you dont see the words “tainting the transfer market” here. Once again I ask, why not?

Why cant they bring up players from the youth squad? why not groom him and make him a Ronoldo/Beckham/Cantona? It’s simple. There isn’t enough time.

As the heat of the recent activity increases (not to mention it’s still freakin summer), it’s evident that 17-18 year olds cannot step up immediately into the fray (unless you are Messi or an Arsenal player πŸ˜€ ) Meanwhile, if the other team buys a quality player who is about to peak, it means kudos to the title. Ask Wenger or Perez, I’m sure they’ll agree.

So, club football is all about money, goals and lame double standards. If you’ve got the money, success (in almost all likelihood) maybe yours. πŸ˜€

And regarding to all those who just give shit that Chelsea get for spending cash, bugger off will you. I guess you still (it’s been what, 6-7 years?) cant get over the fact that we can spend on a window now. I think at least for that I can thank Roman πŸ™‚

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Welcome to A Derivative life v1.1

June 15, 2009 at 7:52 pm (Random) (, )

Hear Ye….Hear Ye

If you’ve been a regular visitor here (which I must say, are a select few) you will have seen that I’ve made a couple of changes. I’ve bulleted the changes and the reasons behind them too (for your convenience πŸ˜› )

1) Change of theme

I changed the theme from the dark one earlier to a more lively, light one.

2)Related posts option now availlable

In the ideal future, when I hope that this blog will grow in terms of readers and posts, this feature will come useful to those who will want to find more posts on the same topic. Hope it really helps. πŸ™‚

3)Captcha for comments

Despite the fact that I hardly have a few commentors, I have already recieved lots of spam. Although most of this is weeded off through filters, I taken it a step further by trying to nip it in the bud. Now, you’ll have to type out a small set of alphabets and numbers given in a pic next to the comment while replying (only once I assure you) to make sure that it is indeed a human looking to praise my workΒ  instead of a spam bot trying to sell you el cheapo crap. πŸ˜€

4)Change is good

Yes we can…Yes we can.. Oh sorry, got carried away with Obama’s speech. Anyway, Change is the only thing constant in life (apart from the no. 42, read here to know why) and by changing a few things here, it might liven up things to a great extent. Not that it was boring, but that I just felt like it πŸ˜€

EDIT: (yawn…just added another bullet at about 12.00AM )

5)This site is now copyrighted

Yeah, I got myself a CC license for my posts on his blog. So none of you content theives can take my work without my consent. Muahahhaa. πŸ˜›

So, here’s welcoming you to A Derivative Life v1.1 πŸ™‚

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